Like caffeine...only caffeine-ier

Around noon, I headed to the local 7-11 for my morning coffee, where I stumbled upon perhaps the best kept secret in the world.  Several things amaze me about the existence of Fusion Energy Coffee.

Despite decades of experimentation by scientists the world over, the folks at 7-11 ended up being the ones to harness the power of fusion and actually contain the reaction.  Even more amazing is that those same folks decided that the best application of this technology was in the coffee industry, rather than supplying near limitless energy to the world population.  I have to wonder whether coffee is really the most efficient delivery method for transporting all of that power.  But who am I to second-guess the almost-certain winners of this year's Nobel prize in Physics?

Health Nut

I ventured out to the grocery store tonight in search of a single bag of Sour Patch Kids to pair with a couple of videos.  Twenty minutes later, I found myself questioning my maturity level as I used the self-check-out to purchase eight bags of Sour Patch Kids, two bags of Sweedish Fish, three boxes of Zours, two boxes of Mike and Ike's, a case of Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, a bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos, a magnum bottle of Cabarnet and a six-pack of IPA.

Hey, what can I say?  I'm a sucker for a sale...especially a sale on candy.  

I threw my haul into two plastic bags and was heading out to my car, contemplating my middle-school diet, when I was stopped by two college girls conducting a survey for a market research course.  As I answered their questions about my age, (lack of) occupation and grocery preferences, it occurred to me that the bags I was holding, containing my mountain of sour candy and junk food, were see through and not exactly befitting the diet of a 30-year old.

I told them to keep warm and walked to my car, feeling about 10% embarrassed.  Thankfully, the 90% of me that was drooling over my purchases beat the sh*t out of the embarrassed 10% in a sugar-induced frenzy.  

Six Martini Lunch

Taken out of context, six drinks at lunch might seem a bit on the excessive side. When considered within the context of an unemployed person's hectic schedule, however, two margaritas and four dos XX seems rather reasonable.

I was awoken abruptly by a phone call at 8:03 this morning and found myself unable to drift back to sleep. I also found myself unable to remove myself from the warm and cozy embrace of my comforter. So rather than force myself out of bed and into the bitter cold of the bedroom air, I watched two episodes of 24 and three episodes of Entourage.

The rerun marathon would've continued unabated had it not been for another inopportune phone call at noon inviting me to lunch. After consulting my 'to-do' list for the day (see Exhibit 1,) I agreed to meet for Mexican at Peso's in Queen Anne.

One carne asada burrito, two trips to the bathroom, one refill of chips and salsa, two margaritas, four Dos Equis, three meter-feeding jaunts and four hours of Duck-football-related discourse later, I found myself departing for a happy hour closer to home.

After an order of half-price wings and two Bud Lights, I wandered to the neighborhood theater for a 6:45 showing of Frost/Nixon.

And as I was later enjoying a Jubelale on my couch, I felt uncontrollably compelled to write about my eventful day.


Exhibit 1.

To Do List:
1. Think about how great it would be if you were exercising instead of drinking
2. Don't shower, thereby conserving water
3. Waste an entire day accomplishing nothing that betters yourself or society


...check, check and check.